What am I without fear ?

Fear is so damn ‘real’. Right out there.

Sometimes I feel I have allowed so many weeds to grow in a garden like my mind and they wreak havoc on my emotions..

I feel fear is like a monster if not kept in check..

It can spoil your peace. Yet there are dualities to every fear… if it arises from concern for yourself, it is valid.

But if its just a hindrance towards your happiness and progress wanting you to resolve every goddamn thing in your life before you enjoy it to the fullest in the present, then it needs to be ignored.

But it always exists and never vanishes.

Fear is not just about being afraid or getting jitters, being anxious for no reason, feeling foolish for overreacting to uncomfortable things.

Fear comes with a vibe and energy.

It is our body or senses or mind trying to tell us something.

It need not be baseless. We have to address the root of things.

Fear is associated in someway with death or a sense of loss.. that lack of control over life causes fear.. fear of future in a state of anticipation .. what if things don’t turn out to be the way I want them to be..

Fear is survival based and a natural response to a lot of situations in life..

I fear losing my sanity, sense of self and letting my emotions go beyond my control.

But irony is whatever I fear i somewhere know I don’t control those things

If I have to lose it then let it be..

So be it..

Fear needs to be tackled with a sense of complacency instead of feeling the need to get all the answers to life then and there.

Fear never goes away but atleast the intensity is less once I kinda befriend it.

Use it to understand myself

Fear of abandonment and taken for granted in relationships has been an inherent one since childhood…i mean i would say it was a premonition maybe I didn’t pay attention to it..

I did attract few ppl who taught what its like to trust and be let down.. though everytime I came out with new hope and fresh energy…

Fear of inauthenticity in real world relations..

In adult world, fear of intimacy has been always there. It is hard to find a great chemistry with someone and also feel emotionally safe and sure to give yourself..

Not everyone understands this in a fast moving world..

Fear of stagnancy, what if I am stuck in the same place from years and never realised ? I thought I had evolved and grown out of my old blockages only to find myself caught up in the same maze… same pattern of relationships. I get involved with emotionally unavailable people or those who aren’t really aligned for a romantic union.

But irony is the connection is so intense sometimes, difficult to severe it off at one go.

Fear of eye contact, not everyone’s eyes is good for you.. eyes are windows to the soul but some can be harmful too from my personal experience. I avoid predators yet sometimes life brings them in different forms.

Funny and scary too.

Fear of getting hurt, it nevertheless happens. Like I said, it is more like a red signal or a gut instinct kicking in. We don’t pay attention to things that are foreboding sometimes as we are so blinded by our illusions. We think we know people and this world. Only to know that the truth is mostly bitter.

What if the one I love sometimes is the one who actually is the most toxic for my growth ? What if nothing that I see is actually real ?

Fear of misperception.

What if My sense of reality is totally warped ? Fear of disassociation.

Fear of letting my real self loose, not everything is for society sometimes only for selected few and Inspite of great efforts, things would topple and spill.

Fear of being hysteric with my emotions when they go all over the place !

Fear of suppressing what I really feel either way it’s gonna come out sooner or later , difference being in the intensity 😃

Fear of being someone’s nightmare but if they brought it on themselves then can’t help 🙂

I would never let go of my fear as it is my acquaintance which gives me important experiences in life so I know how the world works or rather what works for me and what doesn’t…

It gives me a hunch when something is not right. But i don’t have cuddle it all the time and stop living. Its ok to go wrong.

Fear of imperfection

Thats what spoils the fun of experiencing everything in life and giving way to endless analyses.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s