Adopting habits

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I am reading a book called Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter and I came across this term ‘Recidivism’ which means relapsing into criminal behaviour. This made me think it is quite relevant to mundane civilian behaviour as well…

Learning new Habits

We have a tendency to fall back into our old pattern of doing things. Adapting requires commitment and consistency.
Recidivism includes following old habits detrimental to our well-being. We are criminals for self-inflicting harm as well.
We do injustice to ourselves when we failto inculcate a new habit which adopted can drastically change our lives for the good.

Sometimes when I lose my ability to write regularly or atleast on alternative days, I feel I am a ‘recidivist’.
If not writing is a crime and I have convinced myself that I would write as regularly as possible, I allow myself a parole sometimes.

During the parole, I read a lot so that I feel motivated to write when I have to. A writer’s break shouldn’t be too long as the words become your adversary. They stop bumping into your mind and you fall short of them.

I allow myself to buy something really nice like a new pair of sneakers or pink chinos, so that I feel inspired to write in it.
They act like magic armour against laziness to write.
The parole ends once I know I can write on a regular basis without monitoring myself. It becomes natural to my day today existence.

I make it an addiction like shopping when you see something attractive. I see a book which has engaging language, I feel The compulsiveness to pen down few words.
I want to get addicted towards writing and I don’t want it to stop.

Just like we can chat for hours on whats app with our friends meaninglessly. Engaging in conversations that lead us nowhere, writing too need not lead you anywhere. I want to write for the pleasure of it and I act as if I’m talking to an imaginary friend.

A writing therapist named the ‘Sorcerer Supreme’ asked me to write from my realm to her in another realm.
Its only through writing I can talk to her. She lives in a realm where there is technology.
My digital words would be translated into ink once it reaches her through fax.

She said if I don’t write I stop living. I should write like my life depended on it. I need not make sense yet I must go on penning down.
For it is by writing, I slowly start to derive sense in this senseless being and world.

Learn to be naked with yourself !!

The intellectual and moral dangers of living among others and the value of solitude has always been a thought-provoking topic of discussion since ages.

Contrary to what Aristotle proposed in his Nicomachean Ethics that only a bestial man can flourish alone else he had to be god, solitude has been seen by many as virtuous to introspection and knowledge of the self.

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Anglican clergyman Richard Cecil, states that “solitude shows us what we should be whereas the society reminds us of what we are.”

Frederich Nietzsche describes solitude as a necessary tool to the task of self-examination. He felt that it frees humans from temptation of thoughtlessly following the mob.

Montaigne stressed upon developing the ability to resist the temptation to mindlessly fall in with the opinion and actions of the mob.
We all nurture a desire subconsciously for the approval of other people. But this he compares to the attachment to material wealth and possessions.
As he feels, both passions diminish our sense of self. However he doesn’t say that we should relinquish them. He just says that we should be detached.

There is nothing wrong in enjoying and benefiting from others’ approval.
As long as you aren’t emotionally enslaved to them or become devastated if you were to lose them, it’s perfectly fine.
You can attain this stature only when you spend time with yourself and assess your private thoughts.

Double-consciousness

That peculiar sensation where you feel there are two versions of yourself dwelling inside you isn’t uncommon.

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All of us view ourselves in two ways. The way we see ourselves through how others see us . Another way is through our own sense of self..

Du Bois coined the term ‘Double-consciousness’ in the backdrop of racism. “Two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings, two warring ideals in a dark body”. That’s how he defined the identity crisis of the ‘black’ people.

An African-American always wants to merge the gap between his own sense of self  and the lens through which the white pworld sees him, without being bleached by the white-supremacy. But the fissure in his identity makes it difficult to do so.

Similarly, we also aim to abridge the gap between how others judge us and how we perceive ourselves without letting our identity being superseded by the self-knowledge imposed on us by others’ biased perceptions.

Jovial spendthrift

While many might spend without bothering about the price tag or its utility. Others grimace even at the thought of expending a hundred rupees. All have our own concept of under or overpriced.

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If you wanna be unconflicted in your spending lifestyle in future, click a snap of your purchases everyday to learn money management. You gotta see whether your money is vanishing into things you desire or just another ‘fleeting wants’ that can be overlooked the next time they emerge.

As long as you feel good about spending money on things that are valuable according to you, trust me it’s completely fine.

Here are the products I bought today..

A  vintage notebook for writing my blog drafts..

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A deodorant and a perfume which emitted intoxicating aroma when I tested a sample..

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A pair of matte finish nail polishes from YLG salon..

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If you don’t spend money, whats the point in having it ?

Saving money also means making enjoyable expenses that also don’t burn a big hole in your pocket.

The next time you wanna buy something, go ahead with the decision without thinking too much as long as it isn’t compromising on the budget.

If you can accomodate it within your monthly means or weekly allowance, swipe your credit card happily or do away with those wad of notes you’re clinging onto as if your life depended on it.

Let go of the steering wheel

“Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.”

Ray Bradbury
You have zero control over your lives. Absolutely no control.
Life isn’t a soap opera where you pause or switch channels if it doesn’t interest you.
What would you do if your eyes are glued to one channel and you have to see it ?
You will watch it on auto-pilot.

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What would you do ? Just live it. That’s it
Don’t ponder over why things don’t happen and turn out the way you want them to.
Stop having expectations.

If everything is predetermined, whats the point on trying to write your script..
just play the script which has already been written for you. Remove all fears.
You will do fine. You will do justice to your role.
Be a method actor in life.
Live it for whatever it is than trying to make it something which it isn’t.
Assume you have the power over how well you perform the role that has been granted to you but not the script and dialogues.

The universe or God or Fate or whichever name you want to give that abstract entity that decided your existence on this planet..
is the DIRECTOR, EDITOR and SCREENPLAY WRITER.

Learn to have a reasonably good screen presence atleast lest you wanna incur the universal force’s wrath.
Don’t forget things always go smoothly, you have to give up control, the very much needed lubricant.

Being the bard of your own existence

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In a world where we believe everything is predetermined and that we all are puppets in the hands of fate… do we have a choice ?
We know we can choose but do we also have a choice over the consequences ?
I don’t think so. Forget pondering over the results of your choices but people have issues even to think over something before  opting for it. They would be glad if someone else chose it for them. Forget life. People would happily listen to whatever is been bombarded on them by the media, peers or society at random.

People ask for freedom of speech to assuage themselves for the freedom of thought which they scarcely use.

Søren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher profoundly described my thoughts on free will.

Free will is something not so commonly acted out by people where they believe in conforming to the rules of society than being someone different who treads his or her own path.
Your life and your decisions should depend on yourself not on external forces of any kind.

Wouldn’t you be a subject rather than an object ? Act from reason and conscious purposes that belong to your own than caused by something outside of yourself.

Repeated re-enforcements

There is a part of the brain which stores preconceived judgements before we actually become mature enough to take decisions. There are certain ingrained mental reflex actions that get accumulated in our mind without our own knowledge.

“The problem is that some entries in our rule-book were made when we were small kids and did not have the capability to truly judge the situations.”

says Prem Kamble, a behavioural consultant and trainer in bestthinking.com.

Sometimes we are free to do what we want but don’t have a say over the outcomes.
There exists little control over our subconscious mind as opposed to what we think. Many of our actions don’t arise from conscious decisions. They are governed by the subconscious mind.
It’s like something is steering us all the way in life and apparently it has a strange sense of humor.img_7439

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